Ghosts
by gotmilk
Summary: Very old. Revamping soon. Carter finally sees the ghosts that haunt his life...


~Ghosts~   
  
I don't own ER, or it's characters, and I'm not making any money from this.   
  
Author's notes: I wrote this story before the espisode "Homecoming",   
so I didn't know anything about it, and this is my version of some of the later events after it I guess you would say.  
Please excuse any spelling or grammer error, because I really wanted to get this story up before Halloween, since it's 'Halloweenish.' If there is something wrong that's really big, please just tell me and I'll try to change it. Also, a big thanks to Dara *a.k.a. padawan_jinx@yahoo.com* for helping me get this posted. hug  
Finally, it only takes a few seconds to review. The good, the bad, or scary, who cares. =)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Dr. John Carter sat at the ER admit desk, finishing up some charts that needed to be signed and reviewed. Everytime someone entered through the double doors, a cold wind blew in, making him wish he had more then his normal lab coat to wear over his clothes. It was late October, and there hadn't been any snow yet, but he didn't expect or want any until at least Thanksgiving. It was hard enough getting to work through the traffic, but snow and traffic were three times as worse, and sometimes, more then that. He could remember following a snowplow once to work a few years ago, and had tried to do that when he got the chance, but now, more people seemed to have caught onto the same idea, and he was forced to wait behind a line of cars as the truck would make it's way down the streets.  
Everything around him seemed like a normal day, with people going back and forth, working on patients or doing some other task. There was always the posibilty of a trama happening to make it's way in. The only thing different about today then the rest of the month, happened to be that it was the 31st of October, Halloween. John had always made bets with a few of the nurses over how many kids he guessed would come into the ER after eatting to much of their trick-or-treat candy and have to be treated for an upset stomach. Most of the cases where nothing to worry about, and most of the parents had over-reacted and brought them in, but sometimes, more serious patients would come in with a broken arm from falling, or someother kind of mishap while out having fun. There had been worse cases he had seen, with children even dying, only because they couldn't get out of the road fast enough for the car coming down the road. Having to tell a parent that their child would never get to see another Halloween was heartbreaking. The only thing that was pleasent to think about, was the fact that cases like that were rare at County on this day of the month, atleast from what he had seen so far.  
John looked at the people walking around him, some he knew more then others, and a few he had never met. They all looked happy, and to many, he did too, but he knew he was far from what they thought. Few really did, and the ones that did were only a small group, each knowing what he went through months earlier. He had been at the drug rehab center in Atlanta for a good three months before he finally returned, and was proud that he had made it. It had been hard, especially at first, feeling alone and lost, but finally, he had managed to make his way back, and now was on his way to a full recovery. Things had been ackward between him and the others who knew where he had really went on his leave, while the others in the hospital were told something totally different, something to keep them from questioning. After the first week, things began to get more normal, they began to treat him like the doctor, and friend he really was. Only one person still remained distant, and he didn't blame her. He had blamed Abby for telling the others she had seen him taking the drugs, but that was right after it happened, now he knew she had instead saved his life. They had made small talk, and things began to get better between them, but John knew the time would soon come when he would have to speak with her about what had happened.  
His thoughts were cut off as he felt the bone chilling breeze his him again, and heard someone yell, "Malucci, shut the doors! I'm going to freeze my scrubs off!"   
  
Dave Malucci grinned, holding the doors open a few more moments then he should have, and finally let them swing shut. He made a quick right, disapearing into the lounge, pulling off his scarf, and was back out a few minutes later rubbing his hands. He walked behind the desk and then made a bee-line towards John.   
  
"Hey Carter, bit nippy out there huh?"   
  
Dave continued to blow in his hands, the placed them over his already red ears.   
  
John only managed to smile, but finally said, "Try a hat Dave."   
  
Dave looked shocked. "What, and mess up my hair?" he said, rubbing his hand over his hair to make sure it was straight.   
  
John turned back around, putting his signature on one last chart, then began to pile them all together in front of him. Behind him, Dave stood at the board grumbling that there was nothing good. Not even bothering to turn, John remarked, "Don't worry Malucci, it'll get alot crazier tonight. Just wait until you get your first trama, or should I say prank of the night."   
  
Dave turned, and only grinned. "That actually happens?"   
  
John chuckled, only saying, "You'll just have to see, now won't you?"   
  
Dave grabbed a chart for a cut needing stiches. "Hey Carter, what time do you get off tonight?" he asked.   
  
John hesitated a moment, but took the bait. "Around eight, why?"   
  
Malucci came back towards him, only smiling. "Great. Now, I know your not planning on doing anything, right?"   
  
For a moment, John was insulted, but realized the other man was pretty correct. If you call reading a book over cocca plans, then I guess not, he thought. "Not tonight, but what are you up to Dave?"   
  
"Nothing but a night of fun and chills my good man."   
  
John raised an eyebrow, but Dave continued.   
  
"I'm getting some people together, and we're all going to go to a haunted house. There's a huge one about ten minutes from here." Dave said.   
  
"Come on Dave, aren't you a little old for spook houses?" John asked.   
  
Dave looked shocked, but shrugged. "Whatever man, but those things can be pretty scary. Anyway, are you in?"   
  
John thought a moment. "Who else is going?" he asked.   
  
Dave held up his hands and began to count. "Lets see, I've gotten Chuny, Yosh, Malec, Abby, Dr. Chen, Dr. Kovac, that cute blond nurse on the 5th floor, and hopefully you Carter."   
  
"I don't know Dave," John said.   
  
"Oh come on, it won't be any fun without you, and hey, I might even ask the Chief to go."   
  
Oh ya Dave, Kerry is 'really' going to want to go.   
  
Before John could say anything, Dave picked up a pen from the desk and used it to do something to the chart in his hands. "Well, tell me if you want to. We're all going to meet over there at around ten. By that time, everyone will be off."   
  
With that, Dave turned, leaving the desk area. John had only managed to mumble "I'll think about it," before Dave left. He sat for a moment thinking, when a nurse came up to him.   
  
"Dr. Carter, we've got a teenager involved in a hit and run coming in."   
  
John snaped out of his own thoughts. "ETA?"   
  
"Bout five minutes."   
  
John nodded both to the nurse, and to himself.   
  
You know, maybe Dave's right. It could be suprisingly fun.   
  
'ya right.'   
  
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When John arrived at the correct address, I was suprised at two things. First, was to see the huge crowd of people lining up around the large building before him, and the third was to see Kerry Weaver waving him towards her.   
  
"Kerry, what are you doing here?" John asked, suprised to find the older docter here.   
  
"Well, when Malucci asked, I said why not. I have nothing better to do, and it beats giving out candy." She paused a second, but added, "Plus, getting the chance to see Malucci scream like a little girl would be priceless." Kerry grinned, and John couldn't help but follow her lead and smile.   
  
He looked behind Kerry at a group of people surrounding each other, and heard someone call his name.   
  
"Hey John!"   
  
Carter peered into the crowd to see Deb Chen waving at him. He waved back, and followed Kerry over to the group. He was greeted by everyone and finally he saw Dave walking towards the group. As he neared, he handed everyone a ticket and said, "You owe me 22 bucks for the ticket I had to get you Carter."   
  
John took the ticket saying, "22 dollors, man, this place isn't cheap huh?" Everyone around laughed and put their own saying in, but Dave yelled out, "Guys, hey, HELLO!"   
Everyone quickly turned. "The tour starts in a few minutes, so lets hurry up!"   
  
"Yes mother," Malek mocked.   
  
Everyone goofed around, and laughed, including John as they entered the building and met up with there guide. If John had seen the man on the street, he could have ran the other way. The guide was totally bald, with tatooes, earrings, and chains hanging from him, and even Dave looked intimidated.   
  
"Ok guys and gals. Once you enter this area, make a left and go down the stairs. After that, you get to the first part. It's around 30 minutes long, and then you will reach a rest area. The second part is 15 minutes longer. Good luck, but remember, DON'T touch any of the guys, and they won't touch you, got it?" he said.   
  
Everyone in the group nodded and walked through the doorway, right into the waiting fake blood, death, and monsters.   
  
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When the group was almost to the end, the blond nurse was already holding onto Dave's arm for dear life, much to Dave's own joy. Everyone was enjoying the time, and even John began to think this was a good idea. After the first 25 minutes, he had managed to become the last person in the line, but it didn't bother him. He hadn't really be scared at all, and only been startled once when someone had jumped from the ceiling.   
He had just gotten over seeing Deb scream and fall back as a guy's head popped from the wall towards her. For a good ten minutes, she had held onto his arm in a deathgrip. He didn't mind, and unlike the blond nurse, he knew Deb wasn't trying to throw herself at him. When she finally let go, she had blushed out of embarrassment for leaving a red mark on John's arm, but he quickly told her it was no big deal and walked on, only then managing to hold in a laugh.   
They walked for sometime, and John began to relax. Most of the scary stuff was happening up front, and the only thing he had to watch out for was the walls in the dark area. He walked, and suddenly stopped. He could hear a light taping behind him. It went silent as he stopped, and John felt himself hold his breath. If someone was just following him, they only worked there and were trying to get him freaked out. He walked forward closing his eyes a moment.   
  
It's nothing, there's no one there. You know it can't be, he's gone, locked away.   
  
The noises came agian, and John once agian saw the dark interior of exam 3 in front of him. Everything around him had seemed to go silent, and he could no longer hear the fake screams the sounded from every corner in the haunted house. Instead, he could only see the Valentines card left on the floor, and the noise behind him. His heart began to beat faster, and faster, when finally he couldn't breathe. He tryed to suck in air, but it wouldn't come. He quickly spun to face his attacker, the one he never got to see on the night everything changed. When he spun, he came face to face with a man he never wanted to see again. The young face of Paul Sabriki stood lumeing a few feet from him, with a bloody hospital gown and knife, held ready. All John could do was back against a wall, trying to breathe, and fight down the panic. Suddenly, the face changed, and instead, a total stranger standing before him in the hospital gown get-up. Somewhere, he heard another voice. It was calm at first, then it became more paniced when he didn't respond.   
  
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"John!" Kerry called out when she saw the younger man agianst a wall, seemingly unable to breathe.   
  
Her call got Dave and Deb to both turn around also, and that's when they saw who John was looking at. The man was no taller then John, but he also wore a white hospital gown soaked with blood. What made Kerry shiver was the large knife in his hand. The man came closer to John, not seeming to notice his distress. Before Kerry could move, Dave shot past her and planted himself in the middle of John and the man.   
  
"Hey buddy!" Dave said, anger in his voice. "Leave him alone!"   
  
The man saw Dave's angered looked and the frightened face of the man behind him. The worker turned, leaving them all behind heading back towards his scene. Before turning the corner, he muttered, "Whatever wimp."   
  
Anyother time, Dave would of taken the guy on, but this time, he quickly turned to see John crouching against the darkened wall, trying to get his breathing under control. Kerry and Deb both rushed back to him and laid a gentle hand on him.   
"John," Deb began, "are you alright?"   
  
John slowly nodded, but knew he wasn't. "I saw it, I saw him." he said.   
  
Kerry, Deb, and Dave all looked at each other. "Who John?" Kerry asked, pretty sure she already knew the answer.   
  
"I was back in exam 3, I turned, and for a moment, I saw him, I saw Paul again." John rubbed his face ruffly then tried to stand. The others saw him waver a second, but he finally managed. "I'm sorry you guys." John said.   
  
"Hey, it's understandable. Maybe I shouldn't have asked in the first place." Dave said, for once, not trying to make a joke.   
  
"Why don't we go to the rest area. It's coming up and I'm sure the others are looking for us." Kerry said, gently putting her hand around John's arm. He nodded, and let the others lead him there. When they finally got there, Dave told the others already waiting to go ahead, and he went to buy Carter a soda. As the group left without them, John noticed Abby almost stopping to talk, but she continued on, only throwing one last glance back. John started running his hands through his hair as Deb and Kerry sat on both sides of him.   
  
"Are you sure your alright?" the both seemed to ask, without saying a word.   
  
"Thank you both," he said.   
  
Kerry and Deb looked at each other. "Why?" Kerry asked.   
  
John looked at both women a second, then back at his hands.   
  
"Because without your help, I might never have gotten help for myself." John's words seemed to break, and Deb lay a hand on his arm.   
  
"Maybe, but you helped yourself too, and that's something important." she added.   
  
John could only nod, and deep inside, he knew it was also true to some point. Benton might of been forceful that night outside of the hospital, but even Peter knew he couldn't have really forced Carter onto the plane. John knew he was in trouble, and knew if he didn't try at all for help, he could end up lost forever, being friendless, and alone. That's why he got on the plane that night and it was the best decision he could have made. Only now, after having a panic attack inside the hallway of a haunted house, he realized why he got into the drugs in the first place. The dreams of the night happening over again, and the feeling he got whenever he was alone, left in the dark before he ever fell asleep. Slowly, after all those months, they had almost faded away, and he could once again go a night without waking up in a panic. John had been suprised at his reaction earlier, but then knew that it was just a reminder to him, that he still had a while to go before he could totally move on with his life.   
  
About that time, Dave came back and handed John a bottled water. "Sorry, that's all they had." he said. John gratefully took it and took a drink. "Are you okay?" Dave asked.   
  
John thought a moment about what to say, then finally answered.   
  
"No, but I will be."   
  
John then gave a sincere smile, and knew he finally meant it.   
  
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3 days later   
  
  
  
John stood at the admiting desk once again, looking through some papers as Dave Malucci walked through the double doors. He pulled off his scarf and walked towards John.   
  
"Hey Carter, what's cookin?"   
  
John shrugged nonchalently. "Oh nothing, but probably your own goose. Kerry wants to see you in the lounge right away."   
  
Dave almost got a half paniced looked. "Oh great, what did I do now?!" He turned and slowly walked into the lounge, as if he were going to have to explain something.   
  
John managed to keep in his laugh at Malucci's idea that he was always in trouble.   
Of course, most of the time he is, John thought.   
  
Forgetting a moment about Dave, John thought about the last few days and his words at the hounted house after Dave asked him is he was okay.   
"No, but I will be." he had managed, to say that, not sure if he meant it. Now, he was going to change it.   
  
Yes, I will be.   
  
John knew he still had a long road to go, and it would be filled with many ghosts, and not the kind you see in haunted houses, but the kind that stay with you, and the ones that take a while to rid yourself of. His ghosts of guilt, and the ghosts of fear were still in him, but only time would heal. He now turned his attention to the present, and knew that he had a long road to recovery, not only in himself, but recovering the trust and friendship he almost ruined. I am going to get to that talk with Abby, I owe it to her atleast.   
  
John smiled for no perticular reason, but it widened when he heard the noise coming from the entrance of the lounge. "Come on Chief, I'll do anything!" Malucci begged, "Just don't play it again!"   
  
In her hand, Kerry held a recording device, which John knew held the sounds of Dave's screams in the second part of the haunted house. "Ok, say, personal slave of the ER doctors? Or perhaps me?" Kerry said, waving the device.   
  
Dave gave Carter a pitiful look. "Come on man, help me out here!"   
  
John just shrugged, smiling at Dave. "Oh I don't know, the blond nurse on the 5th floor might find the screams kind of cute? Don't you think Kerry?"   
  
Kerry smiled and said, "You know, I forgot, but I've got something to pick up from the 5th floor. Maybe I'll see her." Kerry turned, and limped down the hall with Dave following her like a lost puppy. His whine of "Chief!" slowly fading away......just like Carter's ghosts.   
  
  
  
  
  
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NHappy Halloween! (atleast to anyone who reads this before Halloween. :)  



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